Waiting For Mr. Right? Stop!

I've heard the line before "I'm waiting for the perfect man to come along".  Or how about "Mr. Right is out there somewhere, I'm just waiting for him to find me".  Is this you?  Then shut up, and listen to what I'm about to tell you.

The first question you need to ask yourself is: Am I THAT desperate for a man?  Answered yes?  Then I still may have some advice for you.  Keep reading.  I think this situation is based on some time honored "tradition" that a man is supposed to make the first move.  WHY???????  As women we have MOVED MOUNTAINS socially, so why in the HELL are you sitting around waiting for a man to make his move?  A man is a fickle creature.  He dwells in his man caves and feeds on pork rinds and pizza.  He leaves his laundry scattered about waiting for his mother to clean up.  Wait.  I just figured it out.  A man is nothing but a grown child, so basically we shouldn't be blaming men for being such bewildering mammals.  NO!  It's their mothers that are to blame!  I say this because think about it...a mother will wash her sons clothes, make his bed, cook his meals...right?  Well once you marry a man, and it doesn't matter (most of the time anyways) if he was SO chivalrous while courting.  I don't care if he cascaded his members only jacket over a puddle for you just so that your Louboutin's don't get wet (although I'm not sure why you would wear such an expensive shoe in such dreadful weather, but that's not the point).  Once you marry them and live with them their inner child comes out.  It's like I've always said:  "A man goes from being his mother's child to his wife's child".  lol.  Now I'm not saying that my husband is a big man child, or well maybe I would say that sometimes.  He is a sensitive bloke who needs just the right approach for every situation.  Do I psychologically twist my ideas around so that he believes them to be his own?  hahaha damn straight.  Why do I do this?  Well because then he feels like he's the "big man on campus" so to speak.  I've gotten completely off track.  What I have been trying to say this entire time is... don't wait for a man to come along... grow some tits and get yourself out there!  Hit on a guy...hit on lots of guys if you please, but don't wait for an egotistical neanderthal to come galloping up on his stead and whisk you away!